While reflection and growth can be deeply valuable, the idea that change must happen neatly on the first of January can quietly create pressure rather than motivation.
Change, healing, and personal development are not bound by dates – despite what society and the media tell us. They can happen at any point in the year and remain just as meaningful, valid, and beneficial. When we attach our self-worth or sense of progress to symbolic moments such as New Year’s Day, we risk overlooking the quieter, ongoing changes that already take place in our lives. Growth is rarely dramatic; more often it is subtle, relational, and gradual – And that’s ok!
How we set goals also matters. Many New Year resolutions are built on unrealistic expectations and perfectionistic standards. When perfection becomes the aim, disappointment is almost inevitable. Over time, this can feed shame, lower self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. The psychoanalyst Donald Winnicott’s concept of the “good enough” offers an alternative perspective. Winnicott suggested that psychological health does not come from getting things 100% right, but from doing enough, consistently, within our limitations. Perfection does not exist, but “good enough” allows space for humanity, learning, and repair.
Existential therapy also invites us to consider responsibility and choice without harsh self-judgement. From an existential viewpoint, we are always in a process of becoming, shaped by circumstances, relationships, and meaning-making. Rather than striving to eliminate perceived flaws, the focus is on living more authentically, accepting uncertainty, and recognising that struggle is an inherent part of being human.
Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) similarly emphasises acceptance over control. ACT encourages us to notice what is within our influence and to let go of battles with thoughts, feelings, or situations we cannot change. Values-driven action, rather than rigid goal setting, becomes the compass. Small, realistic steps taken with awareness and compassion are often far more sustainable than ambitious resolutions driven by self-criticism.
Simply developing awareness of our limits, boundaries, and capacity is a form of growth in itself. Choosing not to overload ourselves, recognising what is realistic, and allowing change to emerge at its own pace can be just as therapeutic as the change itself. This New Year, perhaps the invitation is not to become someone new, but to meet ourselves where we already are or a bit of both, and allow “good enough” to be enough.