Here in the UK, autumn can bring its own particular comfort to some and beauty: cooler air, leaves beginning to change colour and a sense of the world settling back into a rhythm. Yet the days are also becoming shorter, winter is somewhere on the horizon and there can be an unspoken cultural message: summer is over — now it is time to get serious again.

But we do not all experience that transition in the same way.

For some people, September is a relief. The relative lack of boundaries associated with summer: disrupted routines, children being off school, work colleagues disappearing on holiday, plans constantly changing and the sense that “anything goes” can actually create great anxiety in people. Predictability can make us feel safe. Knowing where we need to be and what is expected of us can provide structure when freedom begins to feel overwhelming.

For others, that same return to structure can feel restrictive. Suddenly the carefree permission of summer seems to disappear, and life becomes about work, study, responsibilities and achievement again. We can feel as though we are expected to simply scrub off the summer joy and start grinding.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) offers an interesting way of thinking about this. Different parts of us can have very different needs. One may crave routine and predictability; another freedom and spontaneity. A part that pushes us to achieve may genuinely believe it is protecting us from failure, while another may be exhausted and asking us to slow down. Rather than deciding which part is right, we can become curious about what each is trying to tell us.

September can also invite comparison and self-assessment: Am I where I thought I would be? What happened to the things I promised myself back in January?

CBT might encourage us to notice the “shoulds” hidden within these questions. I should be further ahead. I should be more productive. I should have changed physically by now. Are these facts or expectations we have absorbed from family, culture, social media or ourselves?

Existential therapy offers another perspective. Awareness of time passing can create anxiety because it reminds us that our time and choices are finite. But anxiety is not always an enemy to eliminate. Sometimes it can point towards something that matters.

September does not need to become another version of “New Year, new me.” Autumn itself reminds us that change does not always mean relentless growth. Nature changes, sheds and rests too.

So perhaps the more useful September question isn't “What should I have achieved by now?”

Instead simply:

“Where am I now — and what do I need from the season ahead?”