Yet for others, this time of year can stir up feelings that are anything but joyful. Loneliness, financial worries, strained family relationships, or the ache of grief, against the backdrop of festive expectation. It is completely valid to hold both realities in mind: for some, this is a season of warmth and connection; for others, it is a tender and difficult period that brings emotional challenges to the surface.
In therapy, I often talk about the importance of perspective — not in a way that ignores or belittles pain, but by gently recognising where our attention tends to rest. Approaches such as Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) suggest that while we cannot always control our circumstances, we can choose how we relate to them. We may not be able to change the behaviour of others or force a picture-perfect holiday despite what Instagram or ads on tv tell us, but we can take small supportive steps that align with our values. Sometimes that means prioritising rest, choosing relationships that feel nourishing rather than obligatory, or allowing ourselves permission to set firmer boundaries. These choices can be acts of self-care, especially when emotions run high.
One practice that can help is gratitude. Not a forced positivity or an instruction to “look on the bright side,” but a simple daily invitation to notice moments that bring steadiness, comfort, or even a small spark of joy. I often encourage clients to write down three things each day they are grateful for, big or small like a warm drink, a message from a friend, a peaceful walk, the feeling of a soft sweater. These seemingly small acknowledgements help expand our awareness to include what supports us, rather than only what feels heavy. Over time, gratitude can shift our perspective toward what remains good and grounding, even when life feels difficult.
It is also important to remember that not everyone has the kind of family that offers love or safety. Many people build chosen families who show up with acceptance and care – especially in the LGBTQ+ communities, or some find in therapy a unique kind of connection — a place where they are listened to, understood, and truly seen. During a season that can amplify feelings of isolation, having someone to sit with you in your experience can be the most meaningful gift of all.
Wherever you find yourself this December — full of joy, struggling quietly, or somewhere in between — your feelings matter. You deserve compassion. And you are not alone. May this season offer moments of warmth, gratitude, and genuine connection, in whatever form they come.